and oh god was it boring.

Honestly, it's an endless parade of "OH LOOK HERE THEY COME AGAIN WOOHOO, LEFT TURN!".

So, being the clever little sadistic f*ck I most certainly am, I used the time that could've been used watching the show, to make a list of improvements that would make the spectacle not only watchable, but completely fuckwin.

This list is comprised of 7 major changes to the formula of the event itself.

1: Have marksmen, perched in towers at each 'corner' of the track, all Star Wars Episode One Tuskan Raider-style. And of course, have them take potshots at the cars as they pass.

2: Have half of the cars and racers going in the OPPOSITE direction of the rest of the cars and racers, but have no 'lane system' that would prevent the two 'flocks' from colliding when they pass.

3: Fill the back seat of each car with farm animals and gunpowder.

4: Make sure all the drivers have a BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) of at least 0.09 if not much more. Anything short of instant unconsciousness.

5: Take away the protective fencing and concrete barriers protecting the crowd.

6: Have a man walking through the crowd, the type you'd normally see selling hotdogs or other concessions, but give him a case full of large stones, about baseball-sized, and have him sell them at 2-3$ a pop, depending on size. You can only guess what these are for...

7: Have vents, or runoffs (stuff like you'd see on the floors of a public or school shower) dotting all across the track, and have all the blood an eviscerated gore siphoned off into a big pool in the center of the arena. The winner of the race then strips naked, and is allowed to swim in the blood an entrails of his enemies.

Complete this easy 7-step process, and you'll soon turn Nascar from a bland, boring pastime enjoyed mainly by rednecks and people in the south that can only be enjoyed with beer and buddies, into an amazing bloodsport that the Barbarians of Hyboria could only cry tears of joy for, and is only SUPPLEMENTED and IMPROVED with the addition of alcohol and friends!

...i think....my brain just lost its shape just by reading this...0_o

nascar is mind numbing to me...seeing how i live pretty much in the south (Oklahoma), but what you are thinking of is arkansas, where Lynard SKynard is still God and Freebird is still #1 on everyone's broken down, chevrolet silverado, radio cassette player..this is nothing new to me..although it would be interesting to see all of the freakin fans AND drivers to go up in flames..sorta Dale Earnhart..what? too soon? Nascar drivers are WAY WAY TOO over paid...

This is Michigan. It is depressing, sad, and boring. Believe me when I say, there are a literal plethora of honest-to-god Nascar fans around here.

I mean, it's so boring here, you could basically sum it up as the choice between buying a computer or buying Nascar tickets, because that's basically as wide as the interest-tree spreads.

But I agree, their pay should be lowered. Them, and Pro-Athletes, and Actors. But the pay should be something like Nascar Racers getting payed highest, simply for the fact that not many people die playing Soccer or acting in *insert crap movie here*.

SnakeTheFox Wrote:and oh god was it boring.

Honestly, it's an endless parade of "OH LOOK HERE THEY COME AGAIN WOOHOO, LEFT TURN!".

So, being the clever little sadistic f*ck I most certainly am, I used the time that could've been used watching the show, to make a list of improvements that would make the spectacle not only watchable, but completely fuckwin.

This list is comprised of 7 major changes to the formula of the event itself.

1: Have marksmen, perched in towers at each 'corner' of the track, all Star Wars Episode One Tuskan Raider-style. And of course, have them take potshots at the cars as they pass.

Only on one condition. If I am there to take a shot at them, and you must equip me with either an M40 or an M24. Mmkay?

Mz. Malicious Wrote:

SnakeTheFox Wrote:and oh god was it boring.

Honestly, it's an endless parade of "OH LOOK HERE THEY COME AGAIN WOOHOO, LEFT TURN!".

So, being the clever little sadistic f*ck I most certainly am, I used the time that could've been used watching the show, to make a list of improvements that would make the spectacle not only watchable, but completely fuckwin.

This list is comprised of 7 major changes to the formula of the event itself.

1: Have marksmen, perched in towers at each 'corner' of the track, all Star Wars Episode One Tuskan Raider-style. And of course, have them take potshots at the cars as they pass.

Only on one condition. If I am there to take a shot at them, and you must equip me with either an M40 or an M24. Mmkay?

Both good rifles but I'm a big personal fan of the Finnish (more like Winnish, amirite?) Sako TRG-41 chambered in .338 Lapua (8.6x70mm) rounds.

However being that I'm more referring to Marksmen and not an actual Sniper, a lower caliber semi-automatic rifle would be more appropriate, in which case I don't care so long as it's chambered in something higher than 5.56 (here's lookin' at you, Mk12 SPR)

True, you are referring more to marksmen, but it would make it more fun to try to get a headshot on one. ;)

I would be more comfortable with a standard army issue M16-A2, or even an M4 because that was what I was initially trained with. However, if you really want to make it fun, what about an AT-4?

Mz. Malicious Wrote:True, you are referring more to marksmen, but it would make it more fun to try to get a headshot on one. ;)

I would be more comfortable with a standard army issue M16-A2, or even an M4 because that was what I was initially trained with. However, if you really want to make it fun, what about an AT-4?

Why stop at an AT-4? Let's throw in a Carl-Gustav RR and an SMAW. Hell, we could even pull some old M72 LAW's out of surplus.

Of course, you really want to mess 'em up, steal one of those experimental XM25 (not to be confused with the XM25, a M14/M21 clone) and start tearing 'em up like that.

i still say all you need is just one...ONE...Fake Nascar strapped with some C4 and detonate the right time...lol suicide nascar! the sponsor could be HK lol

+Deagle+ Wrote:i still say all you need is just one...ONE...Fake Nascar strapped with some C4 and detonate the right time...lol suicide nascar! the sponsor could be HK lol

I know this guy online, bought a H&K USP .45 Match, and it ended up literally exploding in his hand, after the second time he used it.

Personally I'll take a Springfield Armory GI .45 or Rock Island Armory .45 any day. Reliable, resilient, inexpensive (compared to a H&K USP .45 Match, at least), powerful, and most of all, metal. Not made out of shitty plastics and polymers like that Glock or H&K shit. That of course depends on the model, of course you CAN get polymer SA/RHA .45's, but real men carry metal.

SnakeTheFox Wrote:

+Deagle+ Wrote:i still say all you need is just one...ONE...Fake Nascar strapped with some C4 and detonate the right time...lol suicide nascar! the sponsor could be HK lol

I know this guy online, bought a H&K USP .45 Match, and it ended up literally exploding in his hand, after the second time he used it.

Personally I'll take a Springfield Armory GI .45 or Rock Island Armory .45 any day. Reliable, resilient, inexpensive (compared to a H&K USP .45 Match, at least), powerful, and most of all, metal. Not made out of shitty plastics and polymers like that Glock or H&K shit. That of course depends on the model, of course you CAN get polymer SA/RHA .45's, but real men carry metal.

HAHAHAHAHH! I know a guy online that made peanut butter...[/sarcasm]
People say whatever they want on the internet, probably bought a Hi-Point and is butt-hurt.
Besides, that would be an ammunition problem, most likely. That's what you get for firing $3.99 Wolf-shit .45 through your $1200 HK masterpiece. And why would Heckler-Koch be the choice of tactical and military firearms of most countries? I don't honestly see how (ahem, deep breath..)Germany, Iran, Greece, Spain, Mexico, Argentina, Sweden(home of your precious Carl Gustav),Norway, Great Britain(who had Heckler-Koch to totally renovate their faulty weapons system) and hundreds upon thousands of police tactical squads would incorporate their submachine guns, assault rifles, pistols, and shotguns. Not only that but the United States Special Operations Command requested them to produce the Mk. 23 especially for them. Amazing stuff, huh? I doubt so many agencies, governments, and armies would incorporate untrustworthy weapons systems, AND KEEP THEM. Its expensive shit for a reason. It works. Real men carry dependable firearms. Not metal. Tell that to my Raven Arms .25 auto paperweight.