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Official Venting Thread

Discussion in '/random' started by Specktren, Jul 16, 2008.

  1. Xuchilbara

    Xuchilbara
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    Been married since 2008. She cheated on me prior to us getting married. I'm still In love with this woman and I forgive her. almost 5 years of marriage and a child later and everything is gone, we don't talk, we don't do anything, we never actually tried to fix our marriage.
    She starts talking to an employee texting each other at night talking about how amazing she is and how she's the only one that cares, makes a comment on how he's now separated from his wife, doesn't want anyone else to know, offers to pay for her classes and how he's always here to talk. I read these messages, not knowing him at all. After having been cheated on, this sounds like he's trying to get with her, I confront my wife about it, things escalate to 11. So now I'm the bad guy, because I read a message not knowing who he is, the argument gets posted on facebook, not by me mind you, I don't have many facebook friends, I don't really have any friends where I live. Her friends help her calling me a scum bag, that I don't deserve her, not knowing my side of things.
    Now, my birthday was yesterday, I asked for forgiveness, because obviously, I was in the wrong to question whether she was cheating on me when she's texting a guy in the middle of the night and he's telling her how amazing and how caring she is and how she owes him her soul. I asked for forgiveness because I do have anger issues, I mean how can you not when you spend a year getting shot at, How can I not be a little untrusting when the majority of people I've ever met have betrayed me, and to call you out, especiailly when you've done it before and to me these messages just seem off, just I don't know... I don't know anymore... I'm just so angry right now. Angry because I didn't do the right thing? I don't know, but I was in the wrong... I guess, I don't know... i'm just so angry right now... and I really need something to take away my feeling this for a while... I gave her a chance, and now she wants nothing to do with me...

    Sorry for this post. I really don't have any where else to vent to be honest, I've always been the black sheep in my family, Joined the Marines, left home, did my own thing. Never what my family wanted me to do. Video games have been my only constant, I've always been a gamer.
    I'm not asking to talk about it, non of you actually know anything about me or the situtation to reall offer advice, but just typing this out made me feel slightly better.
    If you have any suggestions to games that are time consuming and maybe a little sad I'd appreciate it, it'll help my mood a little better.
    Thanks.
     
  2. Mizel

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    Wow man, sounds like you're in a really shitty position. I'm sorry :/

    Like you said, no one really knows you or your situation well enough to give you advice. What I can do though is offer you some insight on some things that it took me over 25 years, and multiple relationships to learn. First, that communication is absolutely necessary and vital to any strong relationship. I know it sounds obvious, but for some people communicating is a lot harder than it is for others. I am one of those people that will keep everything inside and let it just fester and eat away at me. My husband is the first person I ever got this right with. He taught me to always express my emotions and feelings not matter how stupid I felt or how small I thought the matter was. This small thing alone is what makes our relationship so strong. I sit and watch my friends be miserable because they won't just talk to their significant others which leads to resentment, anger and fighting. The problem with communication is that it takes 2 people being completely honest and open to talking to make it work.

    The second being that a common defense mechanism for being caught doing something wrong is often lashing out in anger. I don't like to admit it, but I was with a guy for 10 long years and knew the whole time we weren't right for each other. Near the end I started talking to guys from work, from the internet, etc. Conversations that I would consider inappropriate for me to be having based on the fact that I had a significant other (much less the conversations your wife is having with her coworker). Needless to say it wasn't long when he found these texts also and confronted me. Had I had nothing to hide, I would have calmly explained the situation. Because that wasn't the case and I was embarrassed and mad at being caught and what I was doing, I lashed out.

    Anyways, that's all I'm going to say. Everyone on here could come on and offer tons of different advice, but what it really comes down to is you doing what you feel like is the right thing for you and only you. I really hope that everything works out for you. If you ever need to just talk or vent, feel free to PM me. Like you said, sometimes just talking about it helps tremendously.

    As for games to keep you entertained, I'd have to suggest a nice long open world RPG. Those are always the best for getting lost in and taking your mind off of things :) If you've never played The Witcher, I highly recommend it. Also another very good RPG is Planescape: Torment. My all time favorite game. It's a bit old, but still great.
     
  3. Shatpanski

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    Brother, I know your situation all too well... I have some words of wisdom and I will PM you.

    -Shat
     
  4. Mizel

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    I have never needed to vent more.

    So, we were supposed to close on our house tomorrow. Our mortgage consultant decided to wait until last Friday to tell us that we didn’t have everything she needed yet (despite the fact that she’s had OVER 2 months to get everything together) so we had to switch closing to Friday. Whatever, no big deal. As long as we close by Friday it’s cool. If not, we have to go through this pain in the ass extension process and yadda yadda (mainly because we’re buying a house from a Vet who couldn’t make payments so now the VA owns it and there’s alllllll sorts of crazy rules and shit for the sale of the house because of it and the fact that it is also a short sale). This morning she tells us that she still won’t be ready by Friday. Not only will she not be ready by Friday, but the paperwork she is waiting for that she somehow just had nooooo idea she needed, despite the fact that she’s been doing this job for 20+ years, will take 30-45 days to receive. If we want to expedite the process and receive the items within 3 days, we have to pay $250. So we’re pulling $250 out of our asses that we don’t freaking have to get this paperwork ASAP. And even though we’ve done that, there’s still a 99% chance that we won’t be able to close this Friday and will have to push it to next week.

    We have hired movers for this Saturday. We have rented the uHaul. We have Direct TV and Comcast scheduled to come out and set up internet and cable on Sunday. We scheduled off of work, informed friends and family that are helping. We have given our notice to our landlord. And now I have to reschedule everything.

    Why did I get stuck with the most incompetent, poor excuse for a mortgage consultant?? How the frak do you do the same job for 20+ years and still not know what paperwork you need?? Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. I can’t wait until this all over so that I can call this lady and rip her a new arsehole.

    Gaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I need a drink :)
     
  5. iK1NG

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    Jesus did you find this lady on craigslist?

    Sorry to hear about that mess. :(

    If It's something you really want keep pushing and adapt to the situation, anticipate that there will be problems you have to over come. It'll make it all the sweeter when you finally get to sit down in your new home for the first time.

    I know that doesn't particularly help now, but it'll make sense when that moment arrives.

    Also, tear her a new one online too so people know not to use her.
     
  6. Specktren

    Specktren
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    Mizel, I am so sorry to hear about all the stress you are going through.

    I can totally relate. It's honestly why I refuse to buy a house again - I would rather rent and not deal with the pain and suffering.

    I really hope that things work out in your favor and it moves along swiftly.

    Once all is said and done, I would final a complaint with the company about the issues she has made - maybe they will cover the cost of her incompetence.

    *edit*

    Sorry for my formal writing, I just got done finishing an essay for my psychology course and haven't shook off the empathetic emotions and big words yet. If you need to chat, now's the time to catch me! hah.
     
  7. Gamerteamguy

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    I remember when and my wife were dating in Cologe she cheated on me and I forgave her but she kept doing it I eventaully moved dorm buildins after that she never cheated again. She said she was sorry and we made up and a couple years after colloge we made up. But she's still a biotch for that.
     
  8. Specktren

    Specktren
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    I am actually glad this thread got bumped - it's good to get stuff off your chest sometimes.

    My car got broken into last Thursday night. Not just a regular break in though, I mean they literally took the time to break into a locker > steal the keys to my car > find my car in the parking lot > and proceed to rob me blind.

    Mind you, this is at a "secure" warehouse. With over 2000 employees who are given a special security clearance just to even enter the building, camera's everywhere, the SECURITY team watching over the lockers with their magic little metal detector wands.. Somehow, no one managed to see who broke into the locker..

    It's violating.

    Now, I am usually not one to even leave a piece of paper visible in the car, however, this particular night happened to be the night that we were in such a rush to get to work I had no time to stop off at home and clear out the car. So over 1000$ worth of things went missing between the locker and the vehicle. Early xmas shopping, FAILED.

    Ugh, I am so disappointed in humans. It's not even about the stuff that's gone. It's the fact that now my life for the next 6-8 weeks is going to be filled with police reports and insurance companies in order to even try to recover something from the loss. The headache is the BS part of the whole ordeal. Thankfully they were kind enough to not break the car or even steal it.. but still. What was the point in stealing underoo's and baby clothes? I mean, at least take the purse in the back that was worth more than anything you took combined. Stupid!
     
  9. PinkGalaxies

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    This exact same thing happened to my brother while he was working at Target. He ended up finding out the manager of the store was the one that robbed his car. In your case, it could be a person who watches the lockers and has access to them. As for the baby clothes, I gave away 5 bags of free clothes 3 days ago on Craigslist and got several E-mails asking for baby clothes. Perhaps the person who robbed you was in dire need for baby clothes or knew someone who really needed them. It sucks that you were robbed, but at least they didn't get your purse and its contents.
     
  10. iK1NG

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    @Specktren That's horrible, really is. I'm very sorry to hear it. I've been robbed more times than I can count, and it is just the worst feeling imaginable. Hopefully you'll be able to recover a lot of your loss through your insurance. I suppose that's the silver lining there. :( Personally I didn't have insurance any of the times.

    Humans are awful, as time goes on it seems like they just get worse and worse. Genuine human beings are a rarity.

    Something that came to my attention with that is I don't believe it was "joe-blow" off the street that did it. Who would know to go for your locker in particular? If they saw objects they wanted in the car how would they know where your keys would be? As creepy as this sounds, someone may have been watching you. Otherwise, co-workers would be the next probable suspect. I find it unlikely that some random guy off the street wandered into your work's locker room, by chance went for your locker for no reason, found your car, and proceeded to take pretty specific items that wouldn't really be of value to a normal thief.

    It would be one thing if they had literally broken into your car and taken things in a rush, but this seemed more planned.
     
  11. Zyjerah

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    Damnit, sorry Speck. I've never really had anything this awful happen so I'm not particularly useful in this case, but I hope it all turns out ok. Humans are one helluva messed up species, honestly sometimes I have no idea what is going through their heads anymore. What I don't understand is if the place is so secure, how the hell did they miss a break in? I mean, not only did they break into the locker, but they left your car with a bunch of stuff which, if you'd ask me, is suspicious nonetheless. Ugh... well in any case, despite my uselessness, I hope all turns out for the best, as quickly as possible too :)
     
  12. Specktren

    Specktren
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    Yeah, we think it was the security guard or at least an inside job. They are checking the footage of the other camera to see if they can spot anything suspicious. Its just insane the lengths people go through to make a few dollars. Most of the employees are contracted so they have no ties to the company other than a 3 month work trial.

    I don't think I was the only one who was robbed either - we learned about security protocol in case a locker is opened and found out that 6 other lockers that night had the locks turned around as protection.. just like ours was. It's just to convenient that they happened to know so much, which makes me feel like it's someone we know personally.. ouch, right?

    Meh - I was mad, then I was sad, now I am just hoping that karma does me a solid and get them.

    Been checking craigslist every day and trying to track the ESN/MEID..

    Bonus? I have the iPhone 5s now :] no more crappy broken screen and half charged bs!
     
  13. Zyjerah

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    Yeah, it seems pretty likely that it was an inside job, considering the security conditions you described it'd be pretty insane if it was just a random person. Also, if they stole from more than just you hopefully the chance of them being caught is higher, let's hope those security cameras yield something at the very least. And that new iPhone certainly sounds like a swell bonus :p
     
  14. Mizel

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    Haha You'd think so, huh?! She has been doing her job for way too long to not know what she's doing. I am definitely going to make sure that after this is all said and done, everyone knows how crappy she is so that no one uses her ever again.

    I had no idea this was going to be so complicated! My friends bought a house at the same time we did. Their offer was accepted that day, and they closed the next week. No issues, no nothing. Just as simple as that.

    I am definitely going to be filing a complaint afterwards.

    We also just found out that the $250 they are charging us that I mentioned is illegal. It was for a rapid credit score refresh. According to the FCRA (Fair Credit Rights Act), your mortgage lender/broker are NOT legally allowed to charge you for this. And it really pisses me off because I can't confront the bank about it. If I confront them about this illegal charge, they could *easily* sabotage my closing if they wanted to. I'd rather be out $250 than be homeless and lose the non-refundable $1500 we've had to put towards closing already.

    So freaking stressful.

    Oh man, that sucks. I honestly think it's worse to have your crap stolen when you KNOW it's someone you work with. Now you've got to be worried about your stuff constantly :/

    Did you try calling your phone carrier and having them trace your phone for you? My friend lost her phone and couldn't find it. She called Verizon and not only did they track where it was for her, they also manually turned her phone ringer on (because it was on silent).
     
  15. Mizel

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    OMFG.... having a debate with someone. After providing them multiple sources and information that all showed them that what they were saying was not correct, they replied with "well you can show me all the info you want it won't change beliefs."

    /sigh

    I'm not against religion, but man shiz like this really gets to me and is what gives religious people a bad name. There's nothing wrong with believing with something... but to take something that is fact and dismiss it because your religion says otherwise... Ugh, makes me rage like nothing else.

    I am not a religious person, but if I saw God himself coming down from the skies above, that would change everything. Why is it so hard for religious people to just admit that some things aren't what they thought?! :mad:
     
  16. Gamerteamguy

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    If you think that lady was bad look up "BrettKeaneHollywood" or "Gman" on YouTube. They are giving religion a bad name. Then again look up "TheAmazingAtheist" and "mrRepzion" even Atheist hate those two Shitlers.
     
  17. iK1NG

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    Giving it a bad name?

    You mean like the homicidal divisions, the child molesting priests, and the borderline nazi popes?

    I have no qualms with Jesus, or any potential god who may or may not exist, but most of religion is downright insane.

    It's essentially a way for a group of empowered individuals to control large portions of the population.

    The only religion I've studied which stood the test of time is Buddhism, and even it loses practicality in the modern age.

    That's the beauty of it though, It's meant to be altered with time, and adapted to what works and what doesn't.

    /rant hehe.
     
  18. Voscillate

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    Have a AP test tomorrow, I've been studying for a week and I'm so stressed, hopefully I get a 4/5 on it :p
     
  19. Gamerteamguy

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    Joseph Stalin?
     
  20. iK1NG

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    @Gamerteamguy

    Wasn't he an athiest? Haha.

    Single members of a particular group don't make a group bad as a whole.

    If that was so we'd have to abolish Christianity since Hitler was a devout Christian.

    General mindsets and repeatedly bad leaders of a particular group are what attach a stigma to it.
     

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